5 Negative Traits You Actually Need

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.” ― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

None of us are perfect. We don’t really know how to be perfect. Yet we can’t help but try, which leads to a lot of frustration.

“If only I wasn’t so…”

But what if it wasn’t a bad thing?

What if these “awful” and “terrible” traits we try to hide or change are actually our greatest asset? What if we just don’t know how to use them?

This idea was incredibly life changing for me. I no longer had to work against myself to make these huge shifts in who I am. Not only did that take off a ton of pressure and anxiety, but it gave me so much more energy to use so I could enhance those gifts and to develop more talents.

When we understand that the traits that we have are tools and assets rather than shortcomings, we gain so much more power in our lives that we can utilize.

Here are 5 traits that we tend to think are bad, but can really be useful if we understand how to use them:

Stubbornness

“When someone tells me “no,” it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.” ― Karen E. Quinones Miller

People are told to stop being so stubborn, but is it really all that bad? From another perspective, it can also be called “Tenacity,” which is actually a desirable trait. See also: determined, willful, persistent and steadfast.

These are the people that overcome incredible odds being stacked against them because they won’t give up. We typically consider this an inspiration.

So why is this considered to be such a problem? Because it means that we don’t always do things just because others tell us to do them.

If utilized correctly, we are able to listen to sound advice, but more importantly, we are able to make a decision and stick to it despite problems and challenges. We stick to things until we have success.

Recklessness

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” ― William Faulkner

Sometimes following our intuition can be seen as crazy or thoughtless. No matter how much we have thought it out and planned and plotted. It’s called taking a risk.

I have also found this to be incredibly helpful when facing a fear. Rather than let fear paralyze me, I take a deep breath and just jump in to take care of what is in front of me. Facing and overcoming my fears is more important to me than most consequences that follow such reckless behavior.

Facing fears, chasing opportunities, and taking action are often best done without thinking, re-thinking and over-thinking situations.

“Those reckless crazies don’t think before they jump in,” however, they do know how to get stuff done and live life to the fullest.

Sure, things doesn’t always turn out the way we plan, but it’s also rarely as bad as nay-sayers claim it will be.

Passivity

“Trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.” ― Molière

Also known as patience, a well-respected virtue. Battles are lost on occasion, so that we can win the war. Pick your battles and realize that sometimes, they just aren’t important in the long run.

Being “passive” allows us to let go of disappointments and defeats. Each new situation is an opportunity to become a fresh start.

It gives us the patience we need to fully look at situations and figure out what is best long term, rather than just what is best in the moment.

This might sound contrary to what I just said about being reckless, but here is the thing: both are needed! Just because one is good, doesn’t mean the other is bad. Take that which is your strength and utilize it while developing the other so you are able to have both assets on your side.

Find that of great worth and make sure you work towards and wait for it.

Weirdness

“…everybody wants to make a difference, but nobody is willing to be different.”
― Andy Andrews, The Little Things: Why You Really Should Sweat the Small Stuff

Being weird means you stand out. People see you, hear you in a world of endless noise and images. You have a unique ability. You have something good in your life. Share it.

Every one is a little weird. Problem is no one is willing to admit it. They are uncomfortable and want to blend in because… well, isn’t that what we are supposed to do? HINT: the answer is NO! Who said we have to blend in?

People want permission to be themselves. To relax and be comfortable with who they are. They are looking for a leader to give them that permission. You get to be that person, because people can relate.

It’s so much easier to see the real side of people and know who to keep in your life.

Egotism

“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.” ― Shannon L. Alder

Just because someone else can’t see your talents and abilities doesn’t mean they aren’t there. You know what you are good at and what you like to do.

Not every one has that kind of vision. Some people struggle for years unable to see how powerful and talented they are.

Once they finally see it, they still struggle to hit publish and wonder if it is good enough or are hesitant so things. Just publish! Just do the thing!

Use that confidence. You know what you can do and what you are capable of.

Don’t let others hold you back from doing awesome things.

Conclusion

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

People will try to label you and say you have a certain characteristic. It may be true, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Every trait we have has it’s own purpose, just like you do. Find their purpose, then use them to find your own purpose.

Rather than seeing certain traits we hold as a detriment, we should be using them as a jumping off point. We can do so much more than we think we are capable of when we know how to direct our energy.

Life tends to feel like it is spiraling out of control when we have too many things going on. Take this off your plate and get to the good stuff! Stop feeling like the things you naturally do are what is holding you back. Rather learn how to utilize them.

Pilot and religious leader Dieter Uchtdorf once relayed a story about a group of untrained professionals trying to move a piano. No matter how many different arrangements they tried — putting the strongest ones together, putting everyone on the same side, even arranging them by height, the piano was simply too heavy to move.

It wasn’t until someone suggested spacing everyone evenly around the piano, regardless of any determining factor and were told to “lift where you stand,” were they able to move the piano.

As a musician, the idea of moving a piano without professionals makes me cringe a little inside. BUT the moral of the story rings incredibly true. Each person around the piano is like a character trait that you have. Some may be stronger than others, but when we effectively manage them and lift where they stand, is the objective achieved.

Sure, some traits can stand a bit more strength and make it easy next time around. I’m not saying we are perfect as we are. I am saying that we are focusing on the wring thing and it’s taking away from the incredible capabilities we have.

Call to Action

Do you have weird traits I didn’t mention? Not sure how to use your traits? Get my guide Turn Your Negative Traits into Assets. Find out how to use all of your traits to your advantage with your Free Gift (←Click here and I’ll email it to you).

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