5+ Reasons You Need a Tribe
I have always considered myself to be an oddball and don’t see things the way others see them. I’ve never felt like I fit in with groups well and have always been highly independent.
This works for me. I really enjoy my alone time, getting things done and not depending on other people.
Turns out, I was missing out on more than I was gaining.
I recently joined a women’s empowerment organization that has absolutely changed my life and in so many good ways. I continually learn so much about group dynamics and why tribes are important — even for us introverted, independent types.
Here are just a few of the things I’ve learned so far:
Connection
This is probably my favorite and the most life-changing for me. Having always felt like an oddball, like I didn’t fit in and ridiculously independent, I had no idea the level of love I could feel for others and from others.
It’s not that I needed attention, I have friends and a healthy social life, but the depth I feel is unparalleled. They just get me. And I get them. I don’t feel so alone.
It’s not just me against the world, I’m on a team. Now I feel invincible. These people have my back, and I have theirs. I would do anything for these people. They aren’t going to just take everything I will give, then leave me in the dirt. They are constantly giving and thank ing me for what I bring to the table… even when I don’t feel like it’s anything at all.
Validation
Let’s face it, we are human. As much as we claim not to care about the opinions of others, we are all a little insecure. We put up our walls, saying we don’t need any kind of validation.
But in the back recesses of the mind, we still crave it. It’s like some luxury that we deny ourselves on our search for independence and adulthood or some other B.S.
People are important in our lives, and often this is an important reason for it. We get insecure in our “crazy” ideas. If left to our own devices, many of these much-needed ideas get pushed aside for something safe, comfortable, and secure.
We need encouragement to push past what is comfortable and become the best version of ourselves, while at the same time, feeling loved and appreciated when we don’t think we bring much to the table.
More Work Gets Done
I used to shy away from any kind of group work. I hated doing all of my portion, then feeling like I had to do everyone else’s portion as well. I expect high quality from anything that I put my name on.
Good news, I’m not the only one that feels that way. I have started to find others who are just as driven, just as much of a perfectionist, and that have the same vision I have.
When we work together, more work actually gets complete because it isn’t just me carrying the whole load. So not only does more work get done and more quickly, but I’m not feeling overworked and exhausted on a constant basis.
As I found my tribe, we have started a Facebook group and subsequent website for women. There are many who share my work ethic and vision, and it’s amazing to see the rapid growth and connection that has happened in such a short period of time.
More Ideas →Better Ideas
As we work together, more ideas pop out of the woodwork. We are able to play off each other’s ideas. Some may not work really well, but then we can find a way to tweak it to make it work better.
Each person comes from a different background with varying fields of expertise.
It starts with one person, like the women’s organization I mentioned above. A program to improve the lives of men existed and was led by this one person. Another person suggested mirroring this group for women. So an instruction meeting was organized. One suggested a way to keep in touch after this profound experience. The experience was shared with others.
There were trainings offered to lead the in-person meetings, there were leaders who organized a system. Others offered to share talents to contribute after the singular instruction meeting. This program grew to be a powerful day-long experience, with weekly updates, resources, and training.
Life complications arose (thanks COVID) and alterations had to be made. This was done through the ideas of many women who continued to share, and online groups were formed. Within a month, it reached 22k women. And counting.
No one individual person created this entire women’s movement. Multiple people all had ideas that were able to contribute to the effective growth and empowerment of women worldwide.
As the program continues to grow, changes are consistently made, thanks to additional ideas and insights from multiple people. The ideas just keep getting better and better because we are able to build off the ideas of others, rather than always starting from scratch.
Getting Feedback
No person is perfect. We all have flaws and weaknesses.
The hard thing is that it’s hard to see each of these and figure out how to improve. We can’t see everything. We struggle to see why we can’t manage to get past a certain plateau in our lives. We don’t understand why there is consistently a particular issue in our lives.
It’s only through an outside perspective that these things can be seen and understood. It is only through sharing that information that change happens.
We need an outside view and feedback given to us if we want to overcome many obstacles that get in our way. That is why coaches, mentors, therapists, and bosses exist. They provide us with critical feedback that improves our life.
They are able to point out where we can do better — BE better. Again improving the quality of work and ideas we are able to provide.
Giving Feedback
Having a tribe means having a group who respect your opinion and will listen to helpful feedback from you.
You are able to provide strength, ability, and knowledge in more ways than just whatever project you were working on. You have a chance to make a positive difference in the life of another.
Sometimes, it may not just be sharing feedback. It might be sharing a story, a bit of wisdom, a smile. Each of these things helps to make the world a better place, small as they may seem.
One of the lesser-talked about perks of providing feedback is the confidence boost it can give you. You know what you are talking about, you are an authority in your field. Sometimes it’s nice to feel smart and be acknowledged for it as well.
Conclusion
Having a tribe is a real-life form of synergy. According to the dictionary, synergy is “the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.”
This is a principle that is not only used in science but often in concepts such as time, results, products, etc. But this is a very real principle that is also easily applied to relationships.
Having a tribe is the equivalent of synergy in relationships. You and your tribe work together to provide an increase of quality. This quality becomes visible in not just relationships, but every aspect of life (because synergy). It improves our relationships, knowledge, ability, network, resources… You name it, your tribe has your back, just like you have theirs.
What Now?
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Sorry fellas, this part is for the ladies. I am part of a Facebook group to help women grow their tribe. Click here to join the group full of supportive, encouraging women who give their ideas, share and support growth.
