7 Ways to Stop Hating Yourself
This is easier said than done. We are our own worst critics.
But all successes stem from the ability to love yourself. Without it, there is no confidence. There is no motivation. There are very, very few happy moments.
You will watch each of these things exponentially increase as you look at the following seven steps. Stop hating yourself, and love yourself instead, and you will find the entire world changes around you.
It’s a night and day difference. Trust me, I’ve seen it.
I’ve watched my confidence, motivation and happiness increase and I’ve watched success follow and find it’s way into my life.
That promotion you’ve been wanting? That girl/guy you’ve been wanting to talk to? That project you’ve been wanting to work on? You suddenly have the motivation and confidence to chase after them.
“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”
― Charles Bukowski
Take 15 Minutes For You
Allow yourself to be happy for 15 minutes at least. Take some time for yourself and stop worrying about the things other people want or need.
While it’s a good thing to help others and fulfill responsibilities to others, you also have a responsibility to yourself.
Take a time out and do something for you. Take a bath. Read a book. Go for a walk. Knit something. I don’t know what you need, you know that better than I do. But just stop and do it.
Take a break and allow yourself to rest from constantly doing things for other people. They might even be important people- your boss, your family, your friends.
Just keep in mind you are trying to make them happy. You know you can make you happy. At least for 15 minutes.
Take Yourself On A Date
Turn off the radio during your drive to work. Meditate. Write in your journal. Spend some quiet time alone with yourself. Get to know you. Just like we spend time and money going on dates to get to know another person, we should be doing the same thing with ourselves.
Take yourself out on a date where you will find traits you can love. Or at least find traits you can learn to love. This isn’t just a concept that works in dating, it works on our own selves. Not sure how to love some of the traits you find? I have created a guide to help with that. I’ll send it to you- just Click Here and I’ll send it over really quick.
Not only will the alone time help you to love yourself and gain some confidence, but it helps you recover. Benjamin Hardy talks about the importance of recovering from people in this article. The most successful people take time to be alone so they can recover, think, ponder and plan.
At first, silence can seem incredibly awkward. However, awkward is one of my favorite things. These moments are simply uncharted territory where you get to make the rules. Make your own rules and take control of the silence, and with it, your life.
Learn to Love Others.
People can be frustrating. They do stupid things sometimes. Especially in large groups, but they really are quite wonderful.
Think about your favorite person. What are they like? What do you love about them? It’s fairly easy to think of those, right? But is this person perfect? Far from it. I bet you could also think of a few things about them that make you crazy. You love them anyways.
So wouldn’t that same idea work for you? Learn to love others. See the good traits that they have.
Pick a person that makes you crazy at work or school. See if you can find something about them that isn’t so bad. Once you find something, find another. Try this with different people. If you can do it with people who make you crazy, you should be able to do this with your own self.
High Standards
I’m not talking about high standards for yourself and what you do. You probably already have those. I’m talking about for everything else in your life.
Take some time to figure out what you are willing to put up with and what you are not. Give yourself high standards in regards to how people treat you, the environments you want to be in, the type of job you have.
Then take them a step higher. Maybe two.
You may not think you deserve that much credit, but that is the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish here. Raising the standard for everything else in your life, rather than being so hard on yourself for not being perfect puts you on a level playing field.
Double standards should not be a thing. Anywhere. But especially in your own life. Don’t hold yourself to one standard, then not hold others to that same place.
I’m not saying to lower your standards with that statement, I’m asking you to bring other people up to your level. Your high standards for yourself won’t be appreciated by those who have no standards. In fact, more gets demanded of you, leaving you feeling like you are never enough.
Eliminate that pressure by leveling out the playing field. If more is demanded of you, more is demanded of them as well.
Tony Robbins has said, “You get in life what you are willing to tolerate.” Don’t put up with a crappy job, or you will only ever have crappy jobs. The same holds true for any area of your life.
Hold People to That Standard
You will meet many people in your lifetime. You will meet those that are fun to go out to the club with. You will meet those that listen to you on a rough day. You will meet those that after years apart, you feel like no time has passed.
Hold a standard for the people you let into your life. What types of people will you allow and which you won’t.
Each of these people will bring something into your life. Sometimes, if nothing else, they bring a lesson.
The ones who teach you how to set boundaries. The ones who teach you by bad example of gratitude and making choices and changes in your life. The ones who teach you how much strength it takes to leave.
Use a filter on how much you allow people into your life. I can’t be everyone’s best friend, and they shouldn’t be mine.
People Who Love You
Those that are closest to you should be the people who love you the most for who you are.
These are people that encourage you when you can’t see the good in yourself, cry with you when you hurt, throw a bonfire to burn things when you are angry, and someone who teaches you how to be better by their sheer example.
Don’t be thinking of who these people “should” be. Don’t assume it will be family. Don’t assume it will be roommates. These people are everywhere, but we sometimes can’t see them. Mostly because we aren’t looking or think we don’t deserve them.
However, these are needed and necessary people in your life. You are a living, breathing being and by this fact alone, deserve these people in your life. They will be good to you and need you to be good to them, too.
Make Yourself Proud
Do something you have always wanted to do. I’m sure you have a list. Maybe you’ve always wanted to take a pottery class, write a book, learn a new instrument. Perhaps you just want more time to donate to a good cause.
These things you want to do always seem to be just out of reach. “One day,” is repeated over and over.
Did you know that TODAY is one day?
I love the old Chinese proverb, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
Do one thing today that makes you proud of yourself. Give yourself a reason to smile.
Realize that this can be a daily occurrence. You can make yourself smile everyday. You can make you happy. Every day.
It can be a small thing. Small victories are my favorite. Sometimes they can be the hardest. They can be as simple as, “I woke up this morning without hitting the snooze button.” “I signed up for the gym.” “I managed to jump in the shower.”
They may be small, but they are hard things, and that is something to be proud of. Don’t downplay it!
I don’t care if showering is something that is assumed done by every one every day. That doesn’t mean it is. Sometimes it’s a hard thing to make time for. What did we ever do before dry shampoo? Trust me, it’s not just you, I’ve had this conversation multiple times with several people. Sometimes, this little thing is a BIG victory!
It does take hard work, no matter how big or small it seems to be. But the point is to doing something that makes you smile will have a massive effect on how you view yourself.
Conclusion
You have some amazing qualities. Each of these activities will help you see those good traits you have and aren’t able to see.
Regardless of if you believe me or not, I think you are awesome. I don’t care if I know you personally or not. I know enough about people in general to know that everyone has something that they love, people that they love, hard things they have survived and funny stories to share.
I also know that often the very best of people don’t realize just how awesome they are. If nothing else, you read my article, which makes me love you all the more! It’s nice to have support doing something that you love, so thank you for making a difference in my life!
Look at you, making me smile!
I know life is hard and busy, but I also know taking the time to do even ONE of the above activities can make a world of difference. Pick one. Do it everyday. Keep with it for at least two weeks and see if it doesn’t make a difference.
You are worth the time, so take it.
Call to Action
I’ve set up a free guide to help you see just how awesome you are! Get it HERE as a gift for yourself. Just because I think you are awesome.
