Removing Stupid People from Your Life
Who Are the Stupid People?
They seem pretty easy to spot, right? It’s that person that cut you off on the way to work this morning, just to get back in their own lane. They obviously don’t know where they are going.
It’s that entire political party. They just don’t listen to reason. They have that agenda they are trying to push and they just don’t care about the other people around them.
It’s the co worker that always asks ridiculous questions.
It’s the nosy neighbor.
It’s the people doing stupid stuff inthe Facebook video.
It’s that call center rep that you had to explain over and over again what the problem is.
No matter who it is, there is something in common.
Did you notice that it’s always someone else, we are seemingly never the ones at fault? It is always someone else who is doing the stupid things and we have no idea what they are thinking.
Living in a global society the way we do, we see all sorts of crazy things that people do. We see it on the news. We see it on viral videos from the various forms of social media. Thanks to technology, words travels quickly. The crazier the action, the faster it seems to travel.
This leads to a widespread belief that people are stupid. I am not disputing this exactly, we all have our moments. Who hasn’t pushed a pull door, called someone by the wrong name, or made a mistake in their life? Do we need to pull out the high school or college photos?
While we do stupid things, that doesn’t mean people are stupid. We all have our rough patches. It also does not give us licence to treat them with any kind of disdain. In fact, wouldn’t that mean they need all the more love and attention? Maybe a little bit more guidance?
We have a tendency to shrug off and stay away from people with a rough first impression or a group who have been known to do stupid things.
Isn’t it tragic?
The people who need the most wisdom and guidance are the ones who we refuse to take care of. Then we wonder why the world is going to hell in a hand basket.
When we distinctly separate ourselves from other people, thinking they are stupid and crazy, we actually perpetuate more of the problem.
“Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”
— Stephen Covey
We are all human. We all make stupid mistakes. When we acknowledge that we are part of that group, it allows us to be more empathetic and understanding.
When we first try to understand what on earth this person is thinking, we may discover someone having a rough day or a cry for help and attention. We don’t know the circumstances that led to that decision or decisions.
When we realize they are human and understand there is a motivation behind these choices, we connect with them. We can realize this might not be so stupid after all, because it is suddenly more relatable.
Maybe it was a stupid choice. I’m not saying all decisions are right ones by any means. However when we first connect with the person, we may see a way we can then help them. Or we may see that we don’t have all of the answers.
What causes stupidity in other people, but never in ourselves is thinking that we know it all.
Which if you think about it, we really don’t.
We don’t know what another driver is thinking, we don’t know what kind of a day the call center rep is having, we don’t know the life of a co-worker once they punch out for the day.
So what makes us think we know how they should act at all times?
Maybe we know that we don’t understand these things, and it makes us angry. Maybe what we are really trying to say is that we are stupid for not knowing everything.
Which is also kind of tragic. We can’t blame ourselves for things we don’t know. We are not some omnipresent deity.
We don’t have all the answers, and that is ok.
All that means is we first need to take a deep breath before we jump into a situation and act from a place of love, rather than reacting instantly to a situation.
Yep, I’m saying you have to first have a little bit of love for this idiot before we allow ourselves to go awol. (Also, google this word “awol”- I used it intentionally and it is often misused.)
I’m asking something big, I know. How can we love a person that we don’t even know? You have likely never interacted with this person before and likely never will again.
So let’s go back to this idea of connecting with them. When we understand they are simply human, just like us, pretend for a moment it’s you driving the car or answering the phone. Imagine they have traits in common with you.
Again, I am asking something hard. Because unless you have a real understanding of your own self and have a love and appreciation of yourself, there is no way to project that into others.
Focus on the Good Traits You Love
Often times, we don’t see these as easily as we should. There is this mentality in the world today that we need to hide the things we are good at in order to avoid appearing cocky or self-centered.
May I propose a different view of this word “self-centered”? Rather than seeing it as a bad thing in which the world revolves around the individual, we can take the term a little more literally and see it as a centering of the self and having a sense of balance.
Don’t just focus on the bad things you need to change, but find a sense of equilibrium with the things you do love about yourself. When we see good in ourselves, it is able to then be projected on to another person and we can see good in them as well.
If you already see that good in yourself, that’s awesome! All of those good things about yourself are things you have in common with other people. Everyone has good in them.
Sometimes it can be hard to see, even if we know the person quite well. But if we struggle to find good things in ourselves, how can we expect to find that in others? We are the person we spend the most time with and should know better than anyone.
Focus on the good in all people.
What to Do With Traits You Don’t Love
We all have these, too. They are hard to escape. We are after all, human and imperfect. But just as we can tweak the term “self-centered” to finding a sense of balance, so can we use our bad traits to our advantage as well.
Just because we are human and imperfect does not mean we are intrinsically and unalterably bad.
Sometimes those bad traits just need a little bit of balancing out themselves, just like we do. In a previous article, I expound on the 5 Negative Traits You Actually Need and how we can utilize them.
For example, being stubborn can also be called tenacity. It allows us to stick to the things we believe in and get things done.
It’s not a bad trait, we just need to know how to properly use it. I have a gift below for you to help a little bit more with this.
The key to removing stupid people from your life is to realize they might not be quite as stupid as you think. At least not consistently. There are people who do stupid things and I know I am certainly one of them.
But just because I do stupid things once in a while does not make me a stupid person.
I can give others that same respect and benefit of the doubt.
That is easiest done when I understand that I have my own ups and downs and know who I am and the traits I have that make a difference.
I have created an 8 question guide to help you turn your negative traits into assets. It’s completely free and provides a jumping off point to self-love and getting rid of idiots in your life.
Click Here for the guide and I’ll send it to you.
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